Just another beautiful day in East TN

How uplifting the mornings are here! I don't even have to look at the weather in NY to know that whatever it is, it's warmer and nicer here! Bill still misses what I call The Cold White North, but he says it reflexively now, as in "I still miss New York," and then dresses up in his silly hunting clothes and goes outside with a smile on his face. I think I know what he means--he misses the times we had there, the life we had, the decade and a half of raising kids in a small town, surrounded by friends and activities. Those were great years, the best part of our lives, being a family of four + pets. It's the time he misses more than the place itself.

I think of those years with nostalgia too. I loved being a mostly-stay-at-home-mom, with little bodies to hug, and kids-say-and-do-the-darndest-things moments to treasure. Bill and I here in Tennessee are living a completely different lifestyle, one that we're not entirely comfortable with yet. We are now Empty Nesters, and not sure if we like it yet. Well, actually, we don't like it all that much, truth be told--but when the kids grow up and go off to lead their own lives, what other choice do we have? We just plain miss them, and used to say that it was so unfair that as soon as they do grow up and become really interesting, they leave! We did our job too well--our children have become everything (and more) that we had hoped--self-supporting, kind, bright & independent--and now we only get to hear of their achievements from afar and cheer from the sidelines, instead of sharing their laughter & stories over the dinner table each night. So yeah, it sucks, but going back to New York wouldn't rewind that film or give us more time with them.

So now, Bill and I are just two, a couple, for the first time in 25 years. We didn't know each other all that well for very long before we married and had babies, so it feels like we were always a house of chaos, a family with children underfoot and part of every activity. We have to invent this couplehood thing almost for the first time, now that they are gone. It's more than a little weird, but we're working at it, day by day, and getting it pretty right, I think.

Today's chores are simple: I get to tell Bill what to do, and he does it. We have beds to set up in the loft and stuff to move back upstairs to clear space on the main level. Houseguests are due tomorrow in the form of Joe & Ray, plus Joe's father, recently widowed. Ray is one of our oldest friends (daughter Juli's middle name is Rae, after him); Bill knew him and his wife Elaine in the Marines, 30 years ago. We just met Joe last year, when they came to buy investment properties in Rogersville. Joe just lost his mom to myeloma a few weeks ago, so he and his dad are on a mini-roadtrip for a change of scene.

I am looking forward to seeing them all (and telling them what to do too)! My only concern is that it will hurt to laugh, because they always make me laugh with their stories & their man-shenanigans. We may only have Sunday with them, because Bill and I may have to go up to Virginia on Monday or Tuesday, but it's an unexpected bonus to see them for however long they can stay--and they can stay in the house even if we have to go.

So, even if we don't have the kids around anymore, we have the joy of a "created family" with our friends, old and new.