It has rained for the past 36 hours, and this morning everything has changed. The leaves have all turned (or been rained off the trees), the air is cool and drier, our brief Indian Summer is over.
This was the time of year in New York when it would begin to snow. My first year there, not knowing what to expect, I was told to "think fur" when planning the kids' Halloween costumes--it would be cold enough by then to need the extra warmth. So here it is, another Halloween coming--no kids to sew for, no fur needed. Our fall in Tennessee may last another month or two, with winter showing up in January or even later.
I woke up this morning with Acceptance beside me for the very first time in this process. The noises in my head--the whining, the protesting, the disbelief, the yearning for a different outcome, the self-pity, the nostalgia, the sadness, the feigned courage, the anger, the angst--all of it was gone, replaced by a simple "OK."
It may not stay, but at least it showed up for the party. I'll enjoy the company while I can.
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2 comments:
Pam,
Hang in there!!!! You will do it - I know!!!!
I think the scenic route for Sunday is ingenuous - it will energize your soul.
Will be waiting anxiously to hear something.
MaryAnn
pam, i admire your good attitude...i'm trying to be brave like you and all i have is a stinkin' broken collarbone! the weather here has been gorgeous, too, but after 2 days of torrential rain, there's a chill in the air. i've been thinking of your mother with the horrible wildfires and hope she's far away from them. love, terry
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