Venting

The Claw continued to worsen yesterday morning, so I packed myself off to my doctor's office. They wouldn't see me. They wanted nothing to do with my baseball bat of an arm and grotesquely-swollen hand, and they sent me to the ER, just so they wouldn't have to have me hanging around the waiting room, grossing everyone else out.

I knew no good could come of this. But I was in pain, and I went. After filling out the form with my left-hand (making the whole thing look like a second-grader's failing attempt at printing legibly), I was escorted to a treatment room, seen by a doctor promptly, and given an IV of steroids. (There goes the weight-loss progress, sigh...)

Then they wheeled in the ultrasound machine. "Wait a minute, I don't need that!" I sputtered. Once again, I was being the uncooperative patient. The nurse ran to get the doctor, who came in and lectured me that, because I had a history of breast cancer, and because I was on tamoxifen, and because I could have a clot in my arm, that would break off and lodge in my lung, causing heart failure, or travel to my brain, causing a stroke--well, against my better judgment, he scared me. He went out of his way to scare me. And I caved.

I should have said: "Okay, if you're right and I have a clot, I'll pay for my ultrasound and double it to pay for someone else who doesn't have insurance--and if I'm right and it's just an insect bite, the ultrasound is free!"

I should have said: "Would you order this test if I had no insurance and you knew the hospital would have to eat the cost of it?"

Instead I meekly said, "Fine. Whatever."

I hate it when I get this way. And he did scare me. I hate that too. And I'm really going to hate it when I get the bill.

Because, it was just as I said--a bite, with my over-reactive immune system. Hundreds of co-pay dollars later, no clot.

Grrrrrrr...

This morning, the steroids they infused me with and the continuing Medrol Pack of Pills are slowly reducing the swelling. I can bend my fingers. I can type. My arm and hand are only 3 times normal size instead of 5 or 6 times.

Next time, I'm sitting in that doctor's office until hell freezes over, and I'll tell them exactly what meds I need, so they don't have to hurt their brains figuring it out for themselves.