Stranded

Some days, it just doesn't pay to get out of bed in the morning.

I was all full of energy yesterday. I emptied all the trash containers in the house, loaded up the back of the red Focus with 3 weeks worth of stinky garbage, recyclables, cardboard and construction trash. My plan was to go to the dump, then go test-drive a Dodge Caliber and pick up a rack of ribs for a special supper on the way home.

I turned the key on "Old Faithful" and was rewarded with absolute silence. "Oh for crying out loud," I thought, "now what?"

Do you think that cars know when they are about to be replaced?

I rummaged around Bill's workspace and found the battery charger. I hooked it up to the battery, and unloaded all the garbage back out of the car, so it wouldn't smell up the interior on such a hot day. Then I went upstairs and stood steaming under the ceiling fan for awhile.

Four hours later, the car still wasn't showing any ambition to start. I now had clicking electronics, flashing dashboard lights and buzzing dinger-bells, but no ignition.

Oh well. I'd just walk down to the van and bring that up to the house. Deal with the Focus later. But when I got down to the field, the van's battery was dead too. Perfect.

I opened the hood, removed the battery and began the long, hot trudge up to the house, lugging the eleventy-billion pound albatross with me. It took about an hour. There was much cursing and wiping of sweat.

I put the charger on the van battery in the basement. Then I went and took a nap under the fan. The whole day was shot, and I was done.

This morning, the plan was to take the charged van battery and hook it up to the Focus. If it started, then I'd drive the Focus to the auto parts store (leaving it running) and have them test the "dead" Focus battery to see if it was completely dead, or if it just needed more charging. Then when I got back, I'd park the Focus next to the van, shut it off and remove the van battery, re-install that in the van, re-install the Focus battery in the Focus, then jump-start the Focus with the van! Drive the Focus up to the house, walk back down to the van and drive that up to the house too.

But the whole plan is on hold anyway, because it's raining to beat the band out there. And I'm still sitting here in my jammies, waiting for the rain to stop.

Oh. And if the van battery wouldn't start the Focus? Then there's something else wrong besides just a dead battery. Alternator? Starter? Fuse? Wiring? This car stuff makes my head hurt. Gnash. Grumble. Grrrrr.

I'm thinking about just going back to bed.