Bill left this morning to go see his parents in Illinois. "What are your goals for this trip?" I asked. "Why are you driving 650 miles for just a few days?"
"Guilt," he sighed.
Bill rarely feels guilt about anything, so this is a concept ripe for exploration. I think what he is feeling is more a sense of duty than guilt. He speaks of it this way: "I should go see my parents." We all owe our parents a debt that can never be repaid, except in terms of our time and respect. Honor thy father and mother is one of the Commandments. I am proud of him for going, even though I know he'd rather be home.
I know I wish my children lived closer, just close enough to come to dinner once a week. Any more than that, and I think we'd all feel a little suffocated.
But as a parent, I don't want my children coming to see me out of guilt, justified or not. Naturally, I want them to visit me because they want to be with me. It seems that the natural order of the relationship is that as everyone gets older, parents want to be with their children more than the other way around.
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