Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Good News: The new primary care doc was everything I had hoped. She was curious, caring, knowledgeable, systematic and probing. She spent more than 90 minutes with Juli, questioning and examining. She established that the panic and anxiety occurred only after the physical symptoms kept recurring. She drew parallels between all the different symptoms and believes that they are all connected. She set up a whole list of tests she wants done and the specialists she wants Juli to see, in order of importance: GI, neurologist, cardiologist, etc. And she changed Juli's current meds to address her immediate situation, while we wait to get her the referrals she needs.

Jules was of course exhausted and weak after said grilling, so I called a cab from the doctor's office and got her home quickly. She slept through the night peacefully.

Bad News: Yesterday's GI appointment was a bust. Upon calling in the morning to double-check the location, Kerne was told that she had no appointment that anyone knew about. When she was last admitted to the hospital on February 2nd, her March 25th appointment was rescheduled for February 16--at least that's what her discharge papers said. In reality, someone did cancel the March 25th appointment, and never made the one for yesterday. Swell.

When I heard Juli yelling at the appointment nurse, I knew she was feeling better! Kerne got on the phone to the new GP's office, and they say they are going to get her to a different GI specialist within the next 7 days.

Juli slept and ate yesterday, and didn't need any tub time at all. She ate Cream of Wheat, crackers, mandarin oranges, canned pears, half a chicken breast, broth, juice, milk and cookies. She even had a bite or two of the chicken wraps I made for dinner! And again, slept through the night without incident.

We also wrote down a rough chronology of her hospital visits, possible triggers, trying to organize "the story" for subsequent doctor visits.

Today or tomorrow, she's going to have to make a decision as to whether she can try to work this weekend, or whether she needs to ask for a medical leave of absence while we sort this all out. Hard decisions loom, because she realizes what is important here, yet really wants to keep her job and needs the money.

It is so hard to know the correct balance with adult children in situations like this. My instinct is to take charge and tell her what to do (while wrapping her up in Mother-Love, so nothing bad can happen to her), but my respect for her as an independent person stops me. This is not my call, it's her decision and her life. I can give her options (and have been, ad nauseum), but ultimately, I just have to shut up and support her.