Sleeping

People are always asking me how I am sleeping. I ponder the dual meaning of that question: It could be "how in the world ARE you sleeping?" or just "are you able to sleep?" It's actually a great greeting question, (so much better than "how are you?") and it reminds me that in order to be strong and able to deal, I should be paying attention to getting all the good sleep I can right now to support a positive mental attitude and optimal physical fitness.

The answer (you were wondering when I was going to get there...) is surprising even to me. I'm sleeping great. I love to sleep, I always have. My mom tells me that when I was born, they had to wake me up to feed me. I have had periods of insomnia in my life, but this isn't one of them.

I think I'm sleeping really well right now because it's a warm cocoon where I can go and not have to think about this at all. I sleep straight through the night, dreamlessly, without tossing or turning or waking in the night. I fall asleep almost instantly, within a minute or two of curling into bed. When I wake, usually between 5 - 6 am, it's like a light switch turning on--my eyes open, I'm instantly alert, and usually, that's it for me--no dozing for another hour in a snugly half-dream. This is all a new pattern.

I have to be sure to get to bed at a decent hour now in order to get the sleep I need for the day, because I know I will wake up not in a set number of hours, but somewhere in that dark predawn, whether I go to bed at 8 pm or 1 am.

I have NEVER been a "morning person." Now I'm the chipper early riser I used to grumblingly curse under my breath as I desperately stumbled around for coffee. When the kids were infants, I used to weep with fatigue some days, wishing for just an hour of horizontal-close-my-eyes relief. All those school years when the alarm would go off at 6:30, I'd stagger to the shower, toes curling up in dismay on the cold bathroom floor, hoping that a hot shower would rouse me to some sort of consciousness required to get the kids fed and ready and out the door with a forced cheerful word or two. In winter, I'd be like a hibernating bear, requiring 8, 10 even 12 hours a night, just to feel vaguely human for the short daylight hours available. In the summer, I'd lie there snoozing in and out of consciousness until 9 or 10, relishing every bit of time stolen from the day--all because I love to sleep!

Now, I'm loving being awake in these late-summer early mornings here in Tennessee. The sky starts turning pink through my skylight, very gently at about 6:45. Then the light creeps up, slowly revealing the mountains, sometimes swathed in humid mist, sometimes clear. The owls stop hooting and the chickadees start chirping. It's a great way to start the day.

And now, I'll go make the coffee (without desperation).