Today is my beloved grandfather's birthday. Angelo thought the sun rose and set with me. That kind of adoring love was a gift that I took for granted, and I still feel him on my shoulder, talking me through the days, helping me along. When I lived in NY, I felt him most strongly when I was working in the garden, digging in the dirt or picking vegetables for dinner. Here in TN, he putters with me around the house, telling me about things that need to be "cleaned up!" (He was big on cleaning up). I know that what I'm hearing is his spirit and teachings that I internalized over the years, and it comforts me. Happy birthday, Papa.
Mom & I had a good day yesterday. We had coffee and conversation with MaryAnn downtown, ran a few errands, and decided to cook at home rather than go out for dinner.
Bill says that they are almost done with the boilers in New Orleans, and they will probably cut him loose today. He will fly home tonight or tomorrow morning if all goes well today. This short week of work will probably make the difference towards getting a full retirement year's credit, in spite of him only working 4 months this year. One less thing to worry about.
Bill had started massaging my upper back and under my arms before he left, and Mom has continued the practice this week. The lotion and the firm touch seem to have diminished the skin-burning sensations and general pain I have felt since the surgery. I don't know if it is the increased circulation, or maybe even just a desensitizing of the skin, but whatever it is, it's helping.
Mom and I were talking about time and perspective this morning. How I yearn to be on the "other side" of this experience, looking forward to the time when I can look back on all of this with some wisdom and insight. Living with it daily takes every bit of energy I have right now, and I feel about as wise & insightful as a potato. Bumpy. Life is bumpy for me, with many ups and downs on a daily basis.
MaryAnn brought us roses, and Bill sent spicy-scented carnations for our anniversary (thus extricating himself from the doghouse with one grand gesture). I feel florally celebrated and very blessed.
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I'm glad Bill will be back home with you soon. I'm sure it has been hard for him also - especially after he got there and actually realized he was gone!!!! You know what they say about absence.
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