I have been a walking Zombie this weekend. It reminds me so much of what it felt like being the mother of infants, staggering around, strung out and nerve-shaky, never really sure what was real and what was weirdness, perceived through a fog of fatigue and seeming like a bad re-run of Night of the Living Dead.
I love to sleep. I was not able to get to sleep, stay asleep, or get any kind of brain recharge for 3 days. I'd go to bed at 11 and lie awake until 2; then I'd be awake again at 4 and unable to get back into the Arms of Morpheus. I'd drift off on the couch around 3 in the afternoon, and be up fidgeting and jittery again at 4:30. Repeat cycle.
And I've been waking up and finding myself sleeping on my stomach. Not the full-on "swimmer's posture" which was my only way of sleeping before my surgery, and a position my chiropractor despaired of and deemed harmful to my back. I haven't been able to put any pressure on the bionics at all for so long now, and I had to learn to sleep on my back (only when completely exhausted) or my side. But somehow in the middle of my snoozing, now I'm turning more onto my tummy than I have in 17 months.
Last night, I went to bed at 1 am, stayed comatose until 4, got back into the slumber until 8, when I awoke refreshed and feeling normal. It was such a delight, I just laid there and savored the feeling of having reset my brain function to standard operating procedure again.
Whew. Let's not do this again anytime soon.
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