Requiem for my Pears

You remember that pear tree, loaded with all those beautiful red pears? They are no longer available for human consumption. It appears that a herd of ravenous ruminants have decimated my pear crop this year. Not a single pear remains, NOT ONE! And the apples are gone too. The darn critters didn't bother to pluck the fruit from the stems, they just nipped the branches right off--they are EATING MY TREE.

Now I know why men hunt. It is not sport, it is not meat, it is revenge.

The only way to get my pears now is to eat a venison steak. Not exactly what I had in mind, but I'm just mad enough now to saddle up, put on some camouflage and go blast me a big, fat buck. I'll take a photo of my pears with me and stick it under his little black nose, just so he draws his last breath knowing why he had to die.

And don't tell me to just order pears from Harry & David. It's not the same thing at all.