Today, Bill and the kids are going to the Tourist Mecca of Sevierville, Pigeon Forge & Gatlinburg--a twenty-plus mile stretch of eight-lane highway, cluttered with every possible establishment frantically designed to Hoover every speck of money out of tourista pockets. I've been. No thanks.
Just the sight of this kind of rampant landscape blight really depresses me. Is it the go-karts, parachute jumps, bungee-leapings, autopias, tramways, Mr. Bouncy-Bounces, roller-blade parks, hang-glidings? Is it the wall-to-wall dinner theatres, comedy clubs, teddy bear emporiums, pancake houses (We Can Seat 2000 of you Right Now!), Sharks of the Smokies, Ripley's Believe-It-or-Not, wax museums, acres of Christmas shops, wineries, breweries, fast food, slow food, drive-by lattes, snow cones, gelato, cotton candy, souvenir shops, shoe outlets, candy outlets, sporting goods outlets, dollar stores, wedding chapels, cabin rentals, time-shares, Country Music Extravaganzas, Dollywood? All I know is that this is not what I call a relaxing experience. I get heart flutters just thinking about going down there and seeing what humans have done to supposedly entertain themselves.
There are such places all over this country--Niagara Falls, Hwy 1 in Florida or Maine, the Black Hills in South Dakota (spewing out along the highway all the way to Mt. Rushmore). Orlando. I honestly think that this is the worst though, right here in East TN. Tourist Hell.
I don't begrudge them the experience or the trip. I think everyone who wants to see it should go. But I plan on curling up with a book and my dog, and having a relaxing day.
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